Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
