I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
