well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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