Soap is not a condiment
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
