so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
