that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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