So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
