dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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