just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
