I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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