Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
