i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
