its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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