what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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