What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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