Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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