the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
