is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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