eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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