she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
