tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
