Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
