I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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