It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
