dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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