Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize