You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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