I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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