You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
