thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
