we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
