i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
