I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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