OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
