I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
