YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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