if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
