Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Randomize