i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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