One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
