I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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