No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
worst night to have a conscience
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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