Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
