My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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