Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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