dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
