for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
