Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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