Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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