I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
