batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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