sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
