I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize