He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
