Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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