I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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