Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
