god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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