Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
