i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I need moral support for this bender
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just forgot I was standing up.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
