I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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