it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
