I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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