I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
