Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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